Excerpts From A Phlegmatic Mind.

thinking primateSometimes you wonder if you’re truly significant in this world. You look around and it seems life is on a fast lane and is leaving you far behind. You wonder why people are in a mad hurry, they can’t even pause a little to say a simple hi. You try to smile at someone, but it seems you’re totally invisible. You get totally bewildered when you just can’t seem to draw people’s attention, yet they stay glued to every word that falls out of that ‘one’ with the magnetic presence. You open your mouth to speak yet words fail you. At times you speak the words, but they are a far cry from the multitude of brilliant ideas brewing in your mind. Sometimes you berate yourself for your inability to coordinate your vocal chords to spew forth series of words that would dumbfound the world. At times, you get envious of that ‘one’ who could electrify the environment with their commanding presence. You ask yourself, ‘how do they do it?’ You put your head down, as you walk the path of life, cause you don’t feel worthy enough to look life head on. You munch the sour lemons life throws at you, and believe you deserve them. You wish to do something that would throw you into the limelight, yet you can’t just muster a drive to fulfill your wish.

Your mind is laden with thoughts and lamentations.

“Oh if only the world would see me for who I really am.”

But it seems like the world has relegated you to its deepest and darkest part.
Who would illuminate your path? Who would crack your shell open? What would unhook the pines tying you down? How would you shine?
You cry, yet the world thinks its a smile.
You frown, yet the world thinks it’s just an amusing expression.
You bellow at the wind, yet it vocalizes it as the singing of birds.
You wail, and the world thinks they’ve never heard a more beautiful sound.thinking
No one or nothing can’t just get it right. You wonder if people and nature are fighting you.

“Who will listen to my cries?”

Is the question you ask everyday, as the sun rises and sets. At some point, you turned towards love. Yet, it failed you too. You turned towards the idea of ‘ending it’ with a rope round your neck, yet that also failed you. You wonder what would make you happy. You wonder what would lighten your heavily burdened mind. You wonder what would ease up the malicious weight of life. You wonder and you wonder. You wonder if anyone could ever understand the turmoil in your heart. You wonder if a voice could speak up for you. You wonder when all these was going to end. You run and you keep running in this dark tunnel, you’ve found yourself in. With an overwhelming darkness that seems to suck in your soul. It draws you deeper and deeper, while you struggle blindly to catch a glimpse of the exit of the tunnel. It’s pure nothingness. Nothing!

kneelingSuddenly, a faint light flickers. Somewhere in the inner recess of your mind, there is an awakening. The person in you stirs. Awareness of who you are begins to blossom. A mind revolution begins. You begin to realize that you were created for a reason. It dawns on you, the purpose for living. You become conscious of that one thing you can do best that no one ever could even if they tried. You begin to grasp that it’s not about the world seeing you, but it’s about the world feeling you. It’s not about people hearing you, but it’s about them listening to you. It’s not the noise but the worth. It’s about you developing your worth. Your essence. Your person. You feel a flicker of hope. You feel the overwhelming presence of something heavenly. Discovery of who you are, begins. And somewhere, along the road to success, you begin to wonder if you were the same person, you were before.

Hope, by then has reached its highest pinnacle. You begin to preach the message of never giving up. You finally realize it’s all about the mind. That the perception of one’s self can either make or mar one. Now you can walk tall. And read this message with the thought of,

“this should be me writing this”

and a benevolent thought of

“well, I hope someone else learns from this. I fought back and I won, they should know they can win too.”

winTrust me, they have seen and read it. The seed has been planted, and the harvest season is at hand.
-The Horseman.

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