Your Pastor Na ”Guy man” Pt.2

The sermon was good, but his gait and swagger was better. It was like watching an artiste perform. There was a sweating bottle of water, tall glass and a pack of immaculate white handkerchiefs next to a huge bible where he read from. He signaled whenever he wanted some water or another handkerchief and the lady who relocated me earlier rushed to refill the glass, handed it over to him with both hands as she genuflected at the same time. She waited until he finished, repeated the gesture, collected the glass and went back to her seat. This one time, it got too hot I guess because he took off his jacket, held it out and the same lady rushed to get it, he let it go before she got to him, and she got it before it touched the ground. I looked at my friend again, this time he made an effort not to look at my direction. Each time the pastor dropped a punch line or used a big word, the church erupted in ‘’woohoos’’, some stood and waved…yea, I wondered why too.

After service, I waited as they asked ‘’first timers’’ to, before then, we were sang to and welcomed, they took turns to shake our hands. We were given a form to fill for ‘’follow-up’’ and a light refreshment followed. I changed my mind about meeting the pastor for counselling because there were a lot of people lined up to see him, and learning that we had to pay a fee to meet him for counselling further discouraged me. They fee was to discourage people from abusing the privilege. I met up with my friend and he quizzed me about the service, I let out a weak smile, trying to delay so I can choose my words carefully, he probed further,

‘’how you see the service? You like our pastor abi?’’

I smiled again, continued walking and said to him

 ‘’omo, that your pastor na guy man’’

. ‘’I know say na wetin you go talk, but you , you no enjoy the preaching? You no see say God anoint am with oil?’

I told him;

‘’I see the oil my brother, the oil too much, e been dey even drip ontop him expensive suit’’

‘’Hahahaha..guy you no well o, na man of God you dey talk about so’’

I got home and got a text  ‘’Dearly Beloved, thank you for worshiping with us. Please join us at church name on Wednesdays 5-7pm, Fridays 10pm till dawn, Sundays 9-11am we love you, God bless you as you come’’

 

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